Upcoming Wedding

So in about a week and a half I'll be performing my first wedding! My
cousin, Nicole, asked me to officiate, so I got online and got
ordained. Fortunately the state of Ohio isn't too picky, so an
ordination certificate from the "Church of Spiritual Humanism" was all
I needed to get a license to solemnize marriages. I can't help but
laugh at the irony of "Spritual Humanism". First off, in the truest
definition, humanism is decidedly not spiritual. Secondly, I feel
there is a fine line between humanism and scientism (That is to say
that most scientism-ists are likely to be humanists, though they may
not call themselves that), which is ironic because I happen to be
waging an education crusade against the problems caused by scientism!

Anyway, it should be fun. I keep trying to remind myself of two
things: 1) No one is going to remember a word I say at the wedding,
and 2) even if I screw up royally, they'll still be married. It's
been working as far as making me less nervous, but it's got the
unwanted side-effect of not trying really hard. Not that there's much
to do, I suppose. Nicole (a.k.a. "bridezilla") has just about
everything planned already.

I'm just hoping we don't have issues at the border like we did when we
went to the States for Turkey Day! When we moved to Canada
Marie-Pierre went to the US Consulate in Montreal to give up her US
Permanent Resident ("Green") Card, but the woman there refused to take
it saying "You don't need to give it back yet, so hold on to it just
in case you decide to move back".

Ok.....

So we got to Customs and Immigration and the woman sees the K-1 visa
in MP's passport and asks if she has a green card. MP presented it
and the woman had this look on her face. You know the one... the look
that says "You've just done something wrong and I'm trying to decide
if I should give you a hard time or not". I saw this happening and
interjected that we TRIED to surrender the card but we were refused.
This worked well enough as the woman said she should fill out some
form to extend her PR status, but that form requires that you're
living in the United States.

Whatever. That's what we get for being completely honest with the
government. We'll see how it goes.